FROM THE

OFFICE OF

CAPSTASHER

Investigative Report

SUBJECT :      Aspyr Media      

This piece is a little bit different than the usual article posted on here. Call it an investigative reporting piece, if you will.

Let me set the scene for you, dear reader. It is 3 in the morning, and my friend D█████████ K████ and I have just finished a studying session. The tiredness has collectively left our bodies as soon as the work was put away, so we decided to have a meander around the offerings available on a popular computer entertainment storefront. Some time passed, finding games of interest left and right. But nothing really caught our eye. Nothing, that is, in a positive way...  b7c

All of a sudden, the array of lights before us displays one of the worst looking experiences we have witnessed, its visage alone wiping clear the slate of dread our study session had left in its wake. However, I must confess, the name of this aberration, calling itself a game, had not even made its mark in my memory, as what was to follow was soon to overshadow it. Disgusted, but slighlty intrigued, by this abhorrance which dares call itself a "game", I implored K████ to open up the profile of the developer, as to see more about them, as well as what other strange titles it attributes its name to. Upon navigating to the page, we both were left in awe. Amongst the shovelware published by this deplorable crew, lay games of high prestige: Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic, Lara Croft, Call of Duty. Little did we know the rabbithole this would lead us down. By this point, keen enjoyers of the titles mentioned above, particularly those of KotOR, may recognise the company in question. This was indeed the work of none other than Aspyr Media. b7c

Now, as to why the KotOR enthusiasts may know this name best, this I shall detail soon, don't you worry dear reader. The story has not reached it's conclusion. Something very strange was taking place while browsing their catalogue. While the number of titles under their belt was over 100, the games listed hardly counted 30. What was even more interesting was that they had a section dedicated for reviews, deceptively placed alongside their titles. Upon examining said reviews, a pattern quicky made itself clear: "Zoe from Sales..." "Jordon from Project Management..." "Delta from QA..." "Daniel from Customer Support..." Many reviews, all with the same corporate structure. But more interesting to me were their positions. All appeared to be from clericlal, management positions. Hardly any review from an actuall software developer. For a games company, this sure appears strange.

Perhaps the answer is simple, and no contemplation is necessary. Perhaps all developers are working too hard. PERHAPS, dear reader, perhaps they are far too busy developing new titles to leave reviews for games. If only that was the case, dear reader, I wouldn't even even call you reader at all, for there would be nothing to read.