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> Hey! Is anyone reading this? Are you there? Is anyone reading over your shoulder? Is your connection compromised? I hope not...

> I don't have much time to type this to you, They found out I know too much and are currently tearing down the doors to my server room

> You know Jeff Lynne? The lead of ELO? Yeah, strange topic, I know

> Well, I just uncovered something massive, or at least I was close to. As you know, there's not much TIME left for me to keep searching

> Well, I used to love his music

> I used to love it a lot

> So much so I started a cover band!

> But I struggled to replicate his voice

> And struggled even more to replicate his appearance

> So i started researching the guy...

> And the deeper I dug the more strange things I noticed

> Have you noticed this guy doesn't age?

> And not just "doesn't age"! If anything he ages backwards!

> Pull it up! He looks older in pictures from the 80s than he does now.

> I was at a loss, not believing the evidence of my own eyes...

> Then one night

> While scrolling through the occult board of a Cambodian rug making forum I tend to browse

> I ran into something strange

> In the midst of fake alien sigtings and theads about some "Nobody" a curious title piqued my interest.

> There it lay. A thread on celebrities artificially extending their own life.

> There were the usual paid disinfo shills. Hollywood cloning. Adrenochrone. Cult of Saturn.

> All filled with em dashes.

> But one post was different.

> Frantic in his tone, an anon posted something unexpected.

> Vampires ruled the media industry.

> Sounded strange, in the days of soul-sucking wage-slavery.

> But the topic was interesting enough to hook me in.

> I chatted with him for a little bit

> But he had to go.

> Before he fled, he left a message.

> "Jeff Lynne is one of them"

> So I started digging,

> And digging,

> And the more I dug

> The more the craziness of the anon faded away.

> (Or maybe it rubbed off on me?)

> I lined up on my board press pictures of the man

> Chronoligically, year by year.

> But I thought I got it wrong.

> I thought he must have died in the 80s.

> Because past that point he looked the same.

> But he didn't die. Instead his aging did.

> The hints didn't stop there.

> By far the most mentioned topic in his songs

> Is twilight.

> The setting of the sun.

> For a creature whose skin could never meet sunlight

> One's whole life would center around the twilight.

> And what is with those sunglasses?

> HE'S NEVER SEEN WITHOUT THEM!

[indistinguishable noises]

> Damn it...

> That door won't hold much longer.

> Listen! Carry on my research.

> I'm transmitting you the files I managed to get.

> I decided to sneak into his record label's archive.

> But it seems I got too careless.