The Secret History of the SM

Before the SM, there was God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It is unclear when the SM began, however prophecies of their arrival stretch long into antiquity. Much like the Welsh title of Gwledig (/ˈɡwlɛdɪɡ/ ), the definition of an SM has been lost to time, however certain characteristics are self-evident to the trained eye.

The following is the timeline of SM members as far as scholars have been able to interpret, alongside important events in SM history.

cca. 2600 BC

Gilgamesh

Strongly believed by modern scholars to be among the first members of the SM, though distinct from the Founder. Prophecies of the SM predate the century in which Gilgamesh was believed to have lived.

cca. 2600 BC

Enkidu

Counterpart to Gilgamesh, and the first recorded SM to have passed away. It is uncertain how these two survived for so long on the Eurasian continents prior to the exporting of tobacco around the world. Perhaps ancient SM may have had the ability to survive without nicotine.

cca. 2100 BC

Invention of Whiskey

Remote members of the SM in Mesopotamia are believed to invent whiskey. In the 14th century AD they would pass on credit for it's invention to the Irish out of pity.

cca. 1393 AD

Johannes Gensfleisch zur Laden zum Gutenberg

The inventor of the printing press and craftsman behind the Gutenberg Bible. Considered by most scholars to be part of the SM.

1436 AD

The Invention of the Printing Press

Johannes Gutenberg, being passed down the knowledge of the American continents from historic SM documents, receives a vision of the future. In this vision, close to the end of the century, the public at large of Europe was to re-discover the continents and begin colonisation. As a result he begins work on the most important project of his life: the invention of the printing press. This was done in order to rub in the faces of Americans (this was also revealed in the vision) that such an important invention was created prior to the discovery of their continent.

3rd of January 1892 AD

John Ronald Reuel Tolkien

Philologist, linguist, and author of the Lord of the Rings series (amongst many others). Tolkien, alongside his friend Lewis, would eventually become members of a sub-section of the SM, known as the Inklings.

29th of November 1898 AD

Clive Staples Lewis

Literary scholar, lay theologist, and author of The Chronicles of Narnia (amongst many others). Lewis, alongside his friend Tolkien, would eventually become members of... why do I feel like I mentioned this before?

2001 AD

DK

Part of the modern trinity of the SM.

2002 AD

Capstasher

Part of the modern trinity of the SM.

2003 AD

WW

Part of the modern trinity of the SM.

V

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